like the darkness of sleep

i don't know what the hell i'm doing.

i just got home about half an hour ago to find my house completely empty. everyone's gone, no note and no message on the answering machine. i'd call my mom's cell except that i don't really care that much about where they went. and i figure if someone's dying they'd at least leave a message on the answering machine. so.

making blog rounds, found this link: be my anti-valentine. sorry kyle. just reinforces my thought that every original idea has already been publicized.

this past week was beyond pointless, but i did get in some decent stream of consciousness writing, even though most of it was about how i haven't been able to write in over six months.

found out about the meta summer bridge program and now i figure i'd be better off just keeping the three weeks and working for that time. i'll make less money (probably), but i don't want to deal with it, and being at state will just make this damn choice even harder.

yes yes, no real writing, but the truth is anything i have to say (or have been wanting to write about for the past week) will no doubt get me in some sort of trouble. i haven't talked to anyone really in a long time, and i don't know if that's a really bad thing or a good thing, but anyway i'm starting to disconnect, which i guess was the goal anyway.