beauty is a state of mind

i use that phrase too much. or maybe it's just so perfect.

have i mentioned how good this week has been?

i went to fallen angel today after school and had another awesome talk with sawbones. honestly, this is the kind of guy i'd want to have all my work done by. he's great about being truthful to you and telling you (young people, that is) that tattoos will affect you later on in life, mostly job-wise, even if you think nothing matters now when you're young. the wrist is a highly visible place, and i know that. and i would be totally open to covering it up if my employer wanted that (my cover-up idea was to make a wristband/bracelet with the same design silk screened on it). i've thought of that a lot over the past year, and actually wanted people to see it. it's gonna be a part of me, so you should see me.

anyway, sawbones and chris both agreed that it would be a lot better if the design was bigger, bigger design would have more clarity now and as time goes on, plus it would be easier to do. so they scanned the design and printed it bigger and showed it to me. and i have to say, it looks just as awesome bigger as it did small. bigger though, i couldn't get it on my wrist. i could get it on my upper forearm (right below elbow), and they suggested other placements for it. i honestly never thought about another placement for it than my wrist. i've just always seen it there. but it does look good bigger. suggestions were: lower back, forearm (as said), calf, pelvis area. i really want to see the tattoo every day, so lower back is out (for now. it would look good there). i never thought of having it higher on my arm than my wrist, so the forearm thing will have to be thought about... in depth. i really dislike calf tattoos (have i mentioned how much i dislike large leg pieces? kind of on the same wavelengh as surface piercings), so that's an immediate no. pelvis area - no one will see it ("you could show it off in a bikini" yeah uh-huh sure...). it's a really good canvas to work with, it's just that i really want this to be a visible tattoo. plus, i don't in any way show off my body. i'm the kind of thinking "if you've got it, flaunt it", and i don't have it. i'm not into the low-rise pants and the bathing suits and the "check out my thong!" or anything of that sort (granted, that's halfly my doing, being so lazy and all, halfly my big hunk of a woman german genes. gotta love you grams).

the only reason why i talk about the last scenario is that it's the only other one that's quite plausible.

so, the dilemma!

no back, my back is definitely too messed up and scarred for any work any time soon.

no legs, ankles, feet. creep me out.

no bicep, too hardcore for this piece.

no stomach/belly/whatever you call it, too expensive (double) plus the showing it off/visibility thing that won't happen as i "don't got it".

you know the design. any advice on where would look good/work for me is greatly appreciated, because i am definitely getting this tattoo.

all this hasn't brought me down at all. the bigger design does look awesome, and it's always good to go bigger.

something else made me really happy today. like, take a huge weight off my shoulders happy. i think i might've wished it though, what with all my anxiety over the decision the past three weeks. i think when i get the letter i'll just tell my parents "it doesn't matter" and burn it. see what they do.

i didn't mean to post non-"writing" posts this week, but this is just so good and in my mind that i had to.

while i'm on this non-"writing" post... i bought a crow left of the murder on monday and i'm really into it. it's really helped put me in a chill mood.

mmm. off for food and physics homework.