what do i have to be to make you stay

i think i broke last night.

old memories come haunting me like truths that i keep trying to run away from. streams of tears cloud my vision and i think i'm in some dream state. not really there... this isn't really happening. and it's like i'm swimming in some body, disconnected from everything around me. but i have to make everything right, even if i'm exhausted, even if i'm miserable, even if i hate myself for what i do. i'm not worth making demands. i can't say listen to me, be with me for once. i can't make myself be happy. i don't know how to be... ok with being somewhere i don't want to be. i'm too confused again.

will you please just stay with me...