truth

once again, i was going to write an epic post. but since i no longer live in my house anymore, i can't really post when i want. or do anything else for that matter. fucking fuck.

so while twitching to get on here, i started totally freaking out, like usual. except that before the past couple of months, it hadn't happened for a long time. but there i was, totally wigging out anxiety attack throw everything in sight away or else break it or burn it and then stay up all night pacing back and forth tapping my fingers almost making myslef bleed repeating a phrase for minutes on end getting hot getting insane starting to cry trying to sit down but i can't stop i have to keep moving too many things too much noise too much too much TOO MUCH. i still feel twitchy and i know that if i wasn't typing right now i'd be tapping. and when that starts... all hell breaks loose inside of my head.

i am mad at people. why do i try and deny it? i am mad at stupid people who do stupid things to people they "love". it's just complete shit.

why can't they just leave us alone?

i'm not going to be able to sleep tonight. and i haven't gotten any sleeping pills or such, so i'm pretty much fucked.

i am choosing to believe zander. i believe that what he says is true, because he hasn't given me a reason to not believe him. and you know, so what if it's a lie. i choose fiction over reality. reality hasn't given me a reason to choose it instead.

and now i'm being thrown off. great. this is just what i needed in my life.