my head is confusing me

so to live in the past is to have regrets. as long as you live in the past, you can't live in the present. you can never be content or happy if your mind and emotions are linked to an episode in the past. good or bad, it doesn't matter. so as long as i think of what has happened, how miserable i was or how happy i was, i will never be able to feel connected to my life right now.

on the other hand, if i try and think about the future, i'll be even more stressed and unhappy. the future sucks. it doesn't even exist. it will never exist, so why think on it. why even bother with the future. life is crazy, so anything can happen. anything. you could die next week. you could become a famous movie star. you could be a homeless person or the richest person in the world. you could be anything. the thing is that you have no idea what's gonna happen to you. there's no sure way of knowing. you can't even really plan for life.

so why bother. why not just live in the moment and do whatever makes you feel happy, regardless of rules and adults and all the stupid stuff people throw on you every day. screw them. it's not their life. they have no claim on you.

how much easier would life be if everyone just got off your back and left you alone? how much better would you feel if you could just get out of an unhealthy relationship with someone without worrying if all your friends would leave you? how would your interactions with everyone around you be if you could just leave behind whatever happened in your past?

how much easier would it be if you could love someone without worrying about getting hurt?