life in the form of a bottlecap

things are very confusing.

who's going where, doing what. who is where, doing what they want? wants needs and a reflection of material possessions lost to the abyss. does anyone ever really go anywhere?

life moves on with time but does life actually move. you are where you are every second of every moment of every thought of life. like tires and static friction. physics is all in the mind.

everything is a neverending circle, so if i know my past life, i must also know my future life, while living in this now life. if all these lives combine to form one great being, what's the use of worrying?

and if you feel down, is it because you feel down in a parallel point of existence on the other side of the circle? mood swings not really mood swings, just feelings from situations you don't remember that you're going through.

or maybe you are going through it right now, throwing off your parallel self, which makes them quite confused.

confusion is at times one of the worst feelings in the world. you don't die from the drowning or the burning or the being slammed by a blunt object, you die from the resulting confusion.

think about it.

confused?

thinking leaves you in a state that seems more logical than impulse. impulse is action without thought. there is no inherent logic in impulse. yet, there is logic in every decision that you make, or else you would be too confused to make the decision.

what is the logic in impulse?

a lack of confidence and a non lack of caring lead to missed opportunities. missed opportunities turn into regret. what you regret is your lack of confidence, and your non lack of caring about the wrong things. using logic a little too much.

free write? word association? a well thought out planned piece of prose to pose a question of propriety? it's supposed to be creative. creative! no well planned out piece, hindered by rules and regulations, form and procedure, fear and apprehension, can ever be creative. be creative!

and what the fuck is creativity anyway?

free write!

life is composed of everything you never wanted to go through and some things you've always hoped for. who's to say what comes when and who has who. it just happens. you can plan your life all you want, and might even get lucky once and a while, but you can never predict your future, unless you take great pains to follow along a path that could possibly lead to where you think you're going. murphy's law tends to plague my life just when i start to plan. maybe that's what murphy's law is, life kicking you in the head because you tried to plan. and that always sucks. tricky doyle. and who's to say that what you say won't have it's desired effect on someone else? you won't know until you try it, but by then all other possibilities fly out. fifty two billion universes created from one choice. every choice, for every person, for every moment in time. that's a lot of universes. universi. anyhow, no one wants to be hurt, but if being hurt is the only way to get what your soul feels it needs, then why not just take the chance to get hurt? besides, somewhere in the fifty two billion universi resulting from your choice, you will get exactly what you want. and maybe, when you come around the next time, you'll happen upon that universe.

that would be awesomes if that universe was now.

end!

lack of writing makes kristin a very tongue-tied girl. i still can't articulate my articulations, or make sense of my nonsensical words, or spell for that matter, but at least i took the time out of my schedule (more like procrastinating one last time before i have to really do that essay. really.) to stop thinking and start writing.

wisdom of the day i impart on you children: stop thinking.