exactly

and this, my friends, is one of the reasons why i read pandora's casket:

It amazes me how honest some people can be, how sure of themselves. I am finding more and more out about someone I thought I knew, someone I thought I had a grasp on and now I realize I never knew her and you never really know someone. Sure you can predict their behavior and you can assume their reaction from seeing it over and over. You can know what's going on in their life and perhaps what they think about it, but you will never get past that 2nd skin. That part inside them that holds them together, you will never truly know what makes them tick. What keeps them going. What little, disregarded dream makes them get up in the morning. Even if they tell you, you can't picture it the way they do, and you can't understand it the way they do. So why do we try? Why do we put ourselves out into the world to find that person we can truly know and love if we will never know them?

i'm a little out of it right now. i took some ibuprofin almost half an hour ago... it hasn't kicked in yet. i really want to get out today, spend some time with my friends. but non of them are on aim, and i never call anyone, so that will most likely not happen. ah well.

i have a feeling next week will be hectic. i don't want to be anxious or worry about anything. i don't want to be unsure. i don't want to not be myself. i just want to glide back into school, into the routine of it all. i haven't decided if i want this year to be about grades, or fun. focusing on next year, or focusing on myself and the present. i don't know.

and i probably won't know until it's too late.