with love we will survive

oh. my. fucking. GOD. it's so amazing. i've died and gone to flickerstick heaven. ah no seeing them live would be flickerstick heaven. aaahhh i've been waiting for this since the end of this summer. and sayings have it that they're gonna be in the studio like in february. i was almost going insane waiting what, 10 days for this live cd? bah it doesn't matter it's here now and all is right with the world.

well actually the world is still pretty crappy but with flickerstick i will survive. mmm "with love we can survive". so true so true. ah for the past week i've just been living off of 3eb and flickerstick lyrics. let me tell you not the best week i've had here, no sir. no sir. should i get into specifics? i think i shall. i mean i know how worse it can get and at this point speaking my mind will not take me there.

so depression sucks. being extremely lonely sucks too. being depressed, extremely lonely, and feeling like you're slipping away from your friends ALL at the SAME TIME sucks even more. bah to clarify... so for the past couple of months i've been getting deeper and deeper into this big ugly monster and my social skills have really declined. a lot. i'm pissy to the few people that i love, and i don't do anything to make up for it. it's not that i don't want to apologize to them, it's just that... i don't see how i can apologize for something i can't control. and sometimes i don't want to apologize or even act nice to him. i just can't stand being around people lately. i just can't stand being around him when i'm feeling like such a failure and he's there to remind me of everything that i love and hate. he's there to remind me why i'm so fucking messed up. and i can't handle it anymore. which just makes it oh so much worse.

ah i didn't clarify at all did i? that and i just threw in another "him" into the mix. ah bah ha that's what people get when they want clarification.

"in the end the dreams you dream were all you ever were"